Resolved question:
Hi, i am looking for some insight or perspective. I made a big mistake. I suspected that my daughter was being sexually abused because she seemed to be making gestures. I checked her hymen by slightly stretching the skin back when I was changing her diaper. I did not notice a hymen and immediately called CPS. They suggested that I take her to the hospital. The ER or my daughters family doctor did not find symptoms of physical abuse. I was in process of taking her to another clinic and my wife filed a motion to take custody of the child. One of the doctors in the ER gave me her thoughts on what I did. She let me know in no unclear terms that I am not to do what did and that I was not qualified. I understand that now. I did not know what I was doing was wrong. There is also no information on the internet about this. At the time I thought I was doing what I was supposed to do. Now my wife is suggesting that I only have supervised visitation and not to change her diaper. I am not an abuser. Please if you have any thoughts or ideas that could help me gain insight or perspective it would be greatly appreciated.
Submitted:
4 Days
Category:
OBGYN
A very warm welcome from Doctor Spring.
Thanks for writing to us with your health concern.
Firstly, how old is the girl in question ?
In very young girls, it is not possible even for a Specialist to visualize the hymen, without sometimes anesthetizing the patient, so yes, what you did, albeit in good faith, was not desirable and not enough to surmise whether she was being sexually abused.
Most young children pass through a stage where they play with their genitals, it does not indicate sexual abuse necessarily.
Your concern is valid, what you can do right now, is insist on evaluation by a Gynaecological , who would categorically state that the hymen is intact, and the girl has not been subjected to routine sexual abuse.
That, and your testimony of being clean and fair.
There is nothing else that can be done .
All the best
Please feel free to discuss further.
Hi, my daughter is 3 1/2 years old. I have not been able to find out the possible consequences for this. I will definitely not do it again. I have not found anything like this on the internet. Have you heard of this happening? I do not want my child taken away. I am waiting for a temporary custody hearing and am very scared.
Hello again,
Unless it is proved beyond doubt that you molested her, there is no reason to be very anxious.
You can always make your point , and have it substantiated by a Specialist as I said.
No, am myself not aware of any such case in my experience.
Regards
Thank you. :-)