Thanks for choosing Doctor Spring while posting your query.
I have gone through your question in detail and I can understand what you and your husband are going through.
But I would like to seek some clarification before I go on to answer your question
1. How many times has this happened? Is it the first time? How long are you have the contacts?
2. How long did the sexual act last?
3. Did you achieve orgasm?
4. Was there sufficient foreplay?
5. Do you take alcohol or tobacco or any other medicines?
6. Does he masturbate? What happens when he masturbates? Does he get an orgasm and ejaculation?
Hope to hear from you at the earliest convenience.
Dr. Srikanth Reddy MD
Patient replied :
1. been hapening in last year on a regular basis, everything is great and he is very aroused we could do this for maybe 10 minutes then he suddenly stops. i can orgasm but i want somethign to help improve his confidence again. it feels like he is waiting for it to happen . foreplay is great no alcohol or medication. when he did try to masturbate he was ok and he ejaculated normal, btw he adores me and is very attracted to me so we both have no idea why this is happening.
Thanks for the follow-up information.
Inability to ejaculate/orgams is one of the common presentations among the couples who have recently started their sexual acts. The most common reason being psychological. Many times its the pressure of performance and anxiety related to it that can cause retarded ejaculation or no ejaculation.While he is masturbating, the pressure of performance is not there as he is alone and hence he tends to perform well when alone.
He needs to get the blood sugars tested as some times increased sugars will also lead to retarded ejaculation.
Masturbation retraining is a good way to deal the problem. In this he is expected to masturbate ones daily but the speed of stimulation should be slower and sensation showed be slower to mimic actual sexual stimulation. Over a period of time, say 2-3 weeks, you may resume the sexual activity with your wife.
For this illness also sensate focus therapy is a very good option. In this therapy sessions for the first 2 weeks, partners take turn to stimulate each other without touching the genitals. Some may use perfumes or creams or oils as well. In the next two weeks genitals can be used for stimulation but the actual sex is still prohibited. This 4 weeks session is done without the pressure for performance on the man and instills lot of confidence in him. then after 4 weeks, regular sex is started and the problem of retarded ejaculation is solved.
The medicines are not available for this illness.
Hope this helps,
If you need any further clarifications,you may contact me again.
Wish you good health
Patient replied :
is there anyway of consulting a GP to ask if there is any medication that could help?
maybe he need an operation ?
Medications are not the first way to go. A basic set of tests can be done which includes S.Testosterone, FSH, LH and a Testicular + Penile Doppler. Surgery is not usually not required. You should not hesitate to contact your Doctor for this. Further delay in treatment will only result in unnecessary anxiety and uneasiness.
So as first step consider getting these investigations done. Follow my earlier recommendations.
Hope this helps. I will keep this consult so that you can get back to me if you have more queries.