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Craving for relationship but thinking of worst situation.

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Basically, I suffer from something that keeps ruining every relationship I build, that is even if I build it and I keep thinking the worst of everything, I don't have control of this my head naturally tells me the worst of situations. I crave relationships, I love being involved but I severely lack the confidence to build them, this being from always thinking whether they actually like me, whether they're ignoring me, that they think horribly about me and I may as well have a phobia of rejection and losing people which is why I avoid getting into relationships however it is something I really want but I am too scared an anxious as from the start I am always thinking about the negatives like I'm just being used but I can't help it, this reduces my confidence to build the relationship and in turn knocks my overall confidence from it not being successful, I am scared of being judged therefore am not comfortable in social situations, when ever I meet someone whether this is a new person or someone I have met before I am am constantly imagining me being judged and I can't help this, it's ruining my life as I have no confidence to meet people and I chose to hide away in my room and focus on other tasks that I am good at, my mum has said that there is something wrong with me as I don't act like a normal 18 almost 19 year old and I'm finally willing to admit that I also feel as though something is wrong with me and I want to change that, For the most part I always panic about situations that may never occur, in my head I always imagine negative thoughts in every situation and image people judging everything I do, this also leading me into missing days from college as I'm afraid of the social aspects where I just end up thinking about what they could be thinking about me whether that's even true or not, I just do and I can't help it. I hate having to deal with this and I really want to sort it out because it's been over 4 years and I'm never happy unless I'm with someone, like physically present with them as when I'm not with them I can get clingy and just want to be with them as I convince myself that they don't like me, and being with them all the time would be the best way to make them like me, this being without thinking about it and I can't control myself from thinking and doing this whereas I actually know it will just push them away and it keeps ruining it and it's too much for me now and I don't know what to do... I'm sorry for the poor English that may be in here

Category: Psychiatrist

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 32 Doctors Online

Thanks for posting your query at
I have gone through your question in detail and I can understand what you are going through.
The symptoms that you have stated suggest that you could be having a borderline personality disorder and probably a co morbid depression. But the personality issues are the most prominent. Now this borderline personality disorder will require you to undergo psychotherapy. Among the available options, dialectical behavioural therapy is the most effective and it involves weekly sessions of 30-45 min each and is taken for 6-8 months or may be longer in certain cases. This therapy is taken by either a psychologist or a psychiatrist in which the therapist identifies impaired cognitions (Thoughts) and try to correct them.
Medicines are generally not very effective in these illnesses but fluoxetine can be tried in cretain cases. Taken in the dose of 20mg per day, the effects if any should be apparent in 3-4 weeks time.
I would suggest that you get an appointment fixed with a psychiatrist and get the medicines prescribed and request for a referral to a clinical psychologist.
Hope this helps,
In case if you have any further query, do let me know.
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy

Dr. Srikanth Reddy
Category: Sexologist
Doctor of Medicine (MD), Psychiatry Residency Program,2001 – 2012
M.B.B.S,Mahatma Gandhi Institute Of Medical Sciences, Sevagram

Certificate Course in sex Therapy and Counselling, Sexology and Counselling, A
Sexology,Medikon Sexual Sciences, Mumbai

Training in Advanced Neurology at a leading corporate hospital (CARE hospital) in Hyderabad

Child Psychiatry Training in National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro-Sciences, Bangalore

Sex Therapy and Counsellingat MEDIKON Sexual Sciences, Mumbai.
Dr. Srikanth Reddy and 4 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you

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