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Problems with ejaculation.

Resolved Question:

I am facing an issue and I am not sure whether I should be concerned about it. Please advice.
I am recently married and about 3 months now and I am having sexual intercourse for the first time. I observe that ejaculation is not happening when I have an intercourse. I tried maturbating and I get the ejaculation in few minutes but not the same during intercourse.How long will it really take to ejaculate with a fully aroused penis. What should I do to overcome the problem of not ejaculating during intercourse . Please advice. Thanks.

Category: Sexologist

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Thanks for choosing Doctor Spring while posting your query.
I have gone through your question in detail and I can understand what you are going through.
But i wouod like to seek some clarification before I go on to answer your question
1. How many times has this happened? Is it the first time?
2. How long did the sexual act last?
3. Did you partner achieve orgasm? Did you achieve orgasm?
4. Was there sufficient foreplay?
5. Do you take alcohol or tobacco or any other medicines?
Hope to hear from you at thr earliest convinience.
Dr. Srikanth Reddy MD

Patient replied :

Hello Doctor, Thanks a lot for looking into the details: Please find my replies inline for your queries:

1. How many times has this happened? Is it the first time?

This is the first time i am having sexual intercourse. Till now we have attempted intercourse close to 10 times but i did not get ejaculation during intercourse. But i get the ejaculation every time i masturbate.

2. How long did the sexual act last?

Every time sexual act lasts for around 15 - 20 minutes.

3. Did you partner achieve orgasm? Did you achieve orgasm?

Yes, we achieved orgasm.

4. Was there sufficient foreplay?

We do foreplay until we reach orgasm. As my penis arouses and she is ready we start the intercourse. So far we did not feel any discomfort while starting the intercourse.

5. Do you take alcohol or tobacco or any other medicines?

No i do not take alcohol or tobacco or any medicines.

Kindly advice to overcome the same. Please revert for further details.


Thank you for your reply (and sorry for the delay).

This is not a rare problem and many a times vaginal sex might not lead on to ejaculation. Since you never had penetrative vaginal sex in the past, it could take some time to be comfortable with it.

The underlying reason is not getting adequate penile stimulation during vaginal sex. The fact that you are comfortable with masturbation proves that there is nothing wrong with your sexual function. Now the reason for not getting adequate penile stimulation could be due to a number of reasons - being concerned and worried about sex, uncomfortable sexual positions, distraction, putting too much effort, focusing everything to ejaculation etc

My recommendation would be to just ignore this concern totally for 4 weeks. (unless your partner is trying to get pregnant). Use alternative methods like hand or oral stimulation for your climax. Abstain from masturbation. Have seuxal intercourse only when have the desire. Go on with penetrative vaginal sex only when you are completely comfortable and relaxed with it. Adequate foreplay and experimenting can really help.

Most important thing you should understand that it might take time (Weeks to months) for many individuals to ejaculate following vaginal sex and you SHOULD not worry about this.

Hope this helps
Feel free to ask followups
Thank you
Thank you

EDIT:For this illness also sensate focus therapy is a very good option. In this therapy sessions for the first 2 weeks, partners take turn to stimulate each other without touching the genitals. Some may use perfumes or creams or oils as well. In the next two weeks genitals can be used for stimulation but the actual sex is still prohibited. This 4 weeks session is done without the pressure for performance on the man and instills lot of confidence in him. then after 4 weeks, regular sex is started and the problem of retarded ejaculation is solved.
The medicines are not available for this illness.
Hope this helps,

Dr. Srikanth Reddy
Category: Sexologist
Doctor of Medicine (MD), Psychiatry Residency Program,2001 – 2012
M.B.B.S,Mahatma Gandhi Institute Of Medical Sciences, Sevagram

Certificate Course in sex Therapy and Counselling, Sexology and Counselling, A
Sexology,Medikon Sexual Sciences, Mumbai

Training in Advanced Neurology at a leading corporate hospital (CARE hospital) in Hyderabad

Child Psychiatry Training in National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro-Sciences, Bangalore

Sex Therapy and Counsellingat MEDIKON Sexual Sciences, Mumbai.
Dr. Srikanth Reddy and 4 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you

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