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Discovered to have premature ejaculation after relationship

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I discovered about a year ago that i have premature ejaculation from my relationship with my girlfriend. We have been talking about it for a long time and i would liek some medical advice on what treatments and options i may have.

Category: Sexologist

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Thank you for asking your query at DoctorSpring.

Premature Ejaculation can be a troublesome problem, but thankfully it is treatable. Since you have this issue for long time, I would like to get some additional information from you :

1. How does PR manifest for you ? Is coitus possible? Or does the ejaculation happen even before intercourse. ? Or how many minutes of intercourse would happen generally?
2. Does this premature ejaculation occur every time or occasionally ? If occasionally what is the frequency? (like once in 3-4 sexual encounters)
3. Is there any stressful situation, incident or relationships in your life , which are constantly bothering you ?
4. Is there a sexual dissatisfaction as expressed by your partner?
5. Over the year, have you tried any treatment or medications or exercise?

You can reply as a followup
Thank you

Patient replied :

Prior to my current relationship i never encountered any complaints or problems with PE. I never thought i lasted too long or too little. The only thing i could think of from my youth that might my youth that could be an indicator was that i would masturbate always with the intent of going quickly. I fear that is a causing a lot of this. I would say that i normally would last about 5-10 minutes on average. My current GF is the first girl i have fallen in love with and i have felt a lot of pressure to perform. She has mentioned in the past how i am not performing like her other boyfriends in the past. she has cried as have i. i feel a lot of stress and its not going away. IO barely last 3 minutes. She likes sex hard and fast all the time with no exception. i am not used to that still. slowing down is not an option for her because she doesnt feel anything that way. this happens everytime with my GF. i have tried masturbating before sex and it hasnt made a real difference. i tried a few lidocaine delayers and some have worked.My GF does not want a quick fix and i agree i need a long term not. I did have sex with a girl two times during a brief break up some months ago. both times i lasted longer than with my GF and the second time i didnt even "finish" because i wasnt feeling it. perhaps a herbal stress relieving pill would help with her. I do not want to risk my health with pills or lidocaine unless it is recommended by a doctor like yourself. I have read about promescent for a delay spray. DO you know it and is it safe? what do you recommend?

Thanks for using doctor spring for posting your query.
I have gone through your query in detail and I can understand what you are you going through.
Sex is a psychobiological phenomenon and involves good functioning of body and mind. Now in a premarital relationship there are lot many unanswered queries in mind about its cultural inappropriateness and fear to go wrong along with a pressure to perform. This causes anxiety finally leading to premature ejaculation.
Now these are transient phenomenon and whne you both become comfortable with your bodies the anxiety goes down and premature ejaculation will vanish.
Just give it some time.
For my patients who come to my clinic and have a persistent problem despite getting married I prescribe them tab paroxetine 12.5 mg at night for a few weeks and this helps. But one should wait before starting on meds.
Unfortunately being an online forum i wont be able to prescribe you medicines but i hope the information given to you might stand useful.


Thanks for your follow-up query. From what you have stated, the
reasons for pre-mature ejaculation is stress and anxiety. If your
girlfriend is not ready to wait and wants an early resolution, then
you are an ideal candidate for medications. Medications are not so
risky and there is no danger to your life.
I prescribe my patients paroxetine CR 12.5 mg at night for a few
weeks. But as I said before, being an online platform, I wont be able
to prescribe you the same. Maybe you can get hold of a local
sexologist/psychiatrist/doctor who can examine you and if feel
appropriate can prescribe you this drug.
Your girlfriend seems to be dominating and it seems you are having sex
too frequently. How frequently is it per week? Do you think your
girlfreind will leave you if you dont perform adequately? If so then
you should question the fesiability and pleasure in your relationship.
Further your masturbation habit is not related to this problem.
However your urgency to finish off the masturbation before you get
cought (fear of getting cought) can be related to the current problem
of premature ejaculation.
Promescent is a spray which doesnt have much benefit and wont be useful for you.
Lidocaine can be used, it reduces the sensation and ejaculation.

Dr. Srikanth Reddy

Dr. Srikanth Reddy
Category: Sexologist
Doctor of Medicine (MD), Psychiatry Residency Program,2001 – 2012
M.B.B.S,Mahatma Gandhi Institute Of Medical Sciences, Sevagram

Certificate Course in sex Therapy and Counselling, Sexology and Counselling, A
Sexology,Medikon Sexual Sciences, Mumbai

Training in Advanced Neurology at a leading corporate hospital (CARE hospital) in Hyderabad

Child Psychiatry Training in National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro-Sciences, Bangalore

Sex Therapy and Counsellingat MEDIKON Sexual Sciences, Mumbai.
Dr. Srikanth Reddy and 4 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you

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