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Feeling helpless with suicidal thoughts due to anxious about HIV.

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About a month ago, a guy I dated 14 months back was diagnosed with HIV. We had unprotected sex 14 months ago but he didn't ejaculate inside me then. I've been testing myself using the EZ-Trust HIV 1&2 Rapid screen test (EIA method) almost every month for the past one year and it has been negative all these while. I had another unprotected sex (ejaculated outside) about 34 days ago but we have tested and both are negative using the same kit. However, since 3 weeks ago, i started to have sorethroat on and off and the first full blood count then was bacteraemia. I was on antibiotics but the sorethroat recurred after completion of antibiotics. A repeated full blood count after a week of the last was normal. The sorethroat remains till today. There are no enlarged painful lymph nodes but recently i was able to feel my lymph nodes one at my right axillary (< 1cm) non tender and a few at my neck 3-4 all non tender and less than 1 cm but i guess I've had that before, no fever but I have on and off upper and lower limbs crambs and numbness with palpitations and the anxiety is making me feel helpless. Ever since a month ago, I've been doing the rapid test twice a week due to my anxiety and results are all nagative. I'm currently on Lexotan 1.5mg which I'm taking periodically only when it is bad (4 tabs so far). Sometimes on Xanax 0.25mg. I'm feeling helpless and have suicidal thoughts coz the sorethroat which is coming on and off despite no enlarged painful lymph nodes and fever but cramps of muscles is making me worried and worsening my anxiety. FYI I've history of allergic rhinitis.
I need your expert advice on this matter and I'm afraid to go to any clinics or labs coz there is no privacy. Thank you.

Category: Ophthalmologist

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Category: Ophthalmologist
 18 Doctors Online

Thank you for your query at
The eye sight being dimmer in one eye must be from birth ( one eye being lazy eye) , if cleaning powder enters the eyes it will cause pain redness & severe irritation , since thats not the case so nothing to worry ,
Now the brighter eye getting dimmer, it can be because of either some infection or allergy. If the brightness is significantly down then visit the ER. You just need to observe, if it stays the same without any deterioration then within a couple of days it will be okay. If the brightness preogressively comes down, then you can get an Ophthalmology consult.
Feel free to discuss further,

Dr Manish Malhotra
Consultant Eye Surgeon

Patient replied :

The dimness is not significant, I will keep an eye on it. My eye has also been a bit irritated - some redness (small red veins) and feels a bit scratchy. I am using artificial tears. Any reason to be concerned about a bit of redness and irritation?

The redness and irritation could be due to allergies, or dry eyes.
Since you're using artificial tears you do not have any reason to worry.
It should resolve in a couple of days.

Dr. Manish Malhotra
Category: Ophthalmologist
Fellowship: L. V. Prasad Eye Institute, Hyderabad
Fellow Pediatric Ophthalmology & Squint (L.V. Prasad Eye Institute, Hyderabad)
Medical School, Residency: MBBS, DOMS, FLVPEI, Nagpur university, 1995
Dr. Manish Malhotra and 4 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you

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