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Getting PRE-EJACULATORY FLUID without erection on kissing.

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Every time I kiss a girl, I have the issue of pre-ejaculatory fluid without getting an erection at all (completely flaccid). I only got an erection and pre-ejaculatory fluid when my penis touched her belly while we were both naked. I lost the erection while reaching for the condom and putting it on, and for some reason could not get it hard enough for sex again after this, even with her stimulating it. I was eventually able to climax from her masturbating me, but only got really hard when I climaxed. When I kiss a girl, why do I leak pre-ejaculatory fluid (cowper's fluid) but not get any erection? Why do I leak pre-ejaculatory fluid without obtaining an erection and why am I experiencing trouble getting and staying hard so that I can have sex?

This issue is ruining my self confidence and hinders me from pursuing a relationship with a girl as it is lowering my self esteem. I have been told that this issue will resolve itself if I get into a proper, intimate relationship with a girl and become comfortable, but I still am nervous about having this issue.

I used to (and still sometimes) masturbate excessively (3-5 times daily, sometimes more). Could the issue be related to this? I am confident that the problem is not a physical issue as I do wake up most mornings with morning erections.

This is a frustrating issue for me and I want to know what the best course of action is to resolve this issue so that I can feel better and more comfortable pursuing an intimate relationship with a woman in the future.

Category: Urologist

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Category: Sexually Transmitted Diseases(STD)Specialist
 21 Doctors Online

Thank you for your query at
The fluid you are getting is in response to excitement and has no relation to erection. Just sexual excitement is good enough to produce the fluid rather than erection.
One can lose erection while wearing condom and there is nothing unusual about it. The more hard you shall try to get erection the more difficult it shall become and thus the difficulty you experienced in getting hard erection.
Excess of anything is bad and the same is true for masturbation. You should limit it to 3-4 times per week.
You should take some multivitamin and things shall improve. If they don't improve I shall start you on penile vibratory therapy.
Take care
Rajiv Goel

Patient replied :

So the precum is just an indicator that I am sexually attracted to the girl? Also, I thought that the main indicator of being sexually excited is an erection? Do you think that it is just performance anxiety and will this problem go away with time?

Pre ejaculatory fluid is a normal response to sexual excitement.
It does settle over time.
You just need to get past this psychological barrier.

Dr. Rajiv Goel
Category: Sexually Transmitted Diseases(STD)Specialist
MCh(urology) Medical Council of India
Fellow, Laparoscopic urology, Germany
Fellow, Urooncology and Robotic urology, Australia
Felloship - MCH, Urology/Genito-Urinary Surgery, AIIMS, 2004
Residency - MS, Master of Surgery, AIIMS, 2001
Medical School - MBBS, Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery, AIIMS, 1998
Dr. Rajiv Goel and 4 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you

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