Thanks for using DoctorSpring,com for posting your queries.
I have gone through your question in detail and I can understand what you and your wife are going through.
We need to first evaluate the cause and treat the identified cause of the reduced sexual interest in your wife. I frequently see such cases in my practice and the common reasons are:
1) Major Depressive Disorder
2) Relationship issues and marital dyshormony.
3) Dry vagina and other local vaginal causes.
Depression causes sadness of mood and reduced interest in everything including sex. This is one of the commonest cause and can be easily treated with the use of anti-depressants like fluoxetine or bupropion etc.
The next common cause is problematic relationship issues between husband and wife. This reflects as refusal to provide sex to the husband. It can be conscious avoidance or can even be sub conscious avoidance. That needs to be evaluated.
Some times local vaginal causes like dryness of vagina or infection of vagina can cause pain and avoidance of sex.
All these three causes need to be evaluated. I would request you to meet a psychiatrist and gynecologist to discuss about this problem.
Hope this helps,
If you have any further query, do let me know.
Dr. Srikanth Reddy MD.