Hello,
Thanks for using doctorspring for posting your query. I have gone through your question and i can understand what you are going through.
I understand that you have physical limitation and these physical limitations can lead to depressive symptoms when faced with serious life events. Your difficulty in concentration can be a manifestation of depression.
Initially start with a hobby that you liked earlier. Try clubbing it up with morning walk or any exercise that you are comfortable with. This will release endorphins which will make you feel good.
If the symptoms persist then you may need medications such as escitalopram or fouoxetine which can take care of your depression.
If you are not comfortable with taking medicines then there is an option of cognitive behavioral therapy which focuses on your thoughts. It will try to alter the way you think.
Hope that helps, please feel free to discuss further.
Wish you good health
Dr. Srikanth Reddy
Patient replied :
Thank you Doctor. Basically, I am a very accomplished individual, I have done my PG in Microbiology and BED currently I am working as a Project Manager in Ebay Chennai.
Like you pointed out, I have physical limitations. All through these years I was able to be motivated and positive which helped me achieve things and be successful.
At a personal level, I am married 37 years old female, have a kid 5 years old and my husband is normal and good understanding person.
I always had problems because everything in my life was more of a compromise, marriage -because my parents wanted, kid because society wanted I had to undergo IVF because my husband had problems.
But after all these years, I really liked someone who asked me out on a one night stand - though I am not that sort - I was very tempted- but ultimately I said no because we had been in interacting virtually and I felt that the person was not someone who can handle me with my limitations and I felt that it would be cheating him as he was my best friend. Though I said no to him and explained him the reason..I just cant face a fact like this ..about my action and my self limiting behavior...started having a lot of doubts about myself...i broke all the contacts him..felt i have made the right decision..but still I am not able to get over it...
I would rather not go into medications for this..but I definitely think I need some help here..so please do help me out...
I am giving you the entire back ground of the situation because its really needed and I am not sure what I am going through now...So please do help me get the right therapy if needed
Hello,
Thanks for the follow-up query.
Going ahead against the societal norms is a big decision and it is a dilemma for everybody. It seems you have refused his offer for two reasons.
1) You feel its not alright
2) You were afraid that he may reject you later cause of your physical in-capabilities.
You somewhere feel that you made a right decision and you are the best person for yourself to decide on what you want and what should be your intended boundaries.
Now that you have made a decision, you should be comfortably accepting it. First and foremost you should try to break all the contacts from him including deleting the mobile number and changing your contact details. Next you should try to occupy yourself with some other daily chores so that you have less of a time for such thoughts. Spend some good time with your family like take them out for dinner or cook something good at home. If it still doesn't help then you shouold approach a psychologist for cognitive behavioural therapy. He/she will take some 8-10 sessions of 20 min weekly therapies and try to focus on your problematic thoughts.
Hope this helps
Regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy
Patient replied :
Thank you Doctor for such a wonderful advice. It's amazing that you have just pointed out the most accurate factors with such minimum information form my end.
The power to exactly relate how the other person might feel about me. Looking at myself from a normal person's eye and understanding impact that might have on them if they do things without understanding made me take a decision like that. But, ultimately it was like facing my own limitations and accepting it with someone I did'nt really want to do. May be that's called ego. Ultimately the fear of rejection.
Thank you so much for making me realise that I need to stick by the decision I have made and also that logically its the correct one which saved a lot of people and relations.
You have definitely helped me understanding a lot of things.
It's been wonderful interacting with you. Thanks for the help.
Thank you. I am glad it helped