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Trouble maintaining erection after partner diagnosed with Herpes

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Recently, I have been having trouble maintaining an erection, with relatively good reason. My girlfriend of a couple of months just informed me that she has herpes. Now, I cannot maintain an erection long enough to put on a condom. I realize this issue is mostly psychological; however, I do not want our relationship to suffer as a result. I really love her, and her personal issue is distressing enough. I do not want to add anymore to the existing problem at hand. My situation is unique, and I just want to get over the hump so to speak. Would this be something where I could ask my doctor for a sample of Cialis to get through this given my situation? Keep in mind I am young (24), but I want this issue to be resolved in a timely manner. In addition, how to I go about asking him/her for this? Your advice will be greatly appreciated.



Category: Sexologist

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Thanks for choosing Doctor Spring for posting your query.
I have gone through your question in detail and I can understand what you are going through.

At age 24 years , an issue of erectile dysfunction especially if you are able to maintain erection for some time before trying to put on condom, the reason has to be psychological. Although adding cialis would be a good short term solution but then at age 24 yrs it wont be good enough taking look at the long sexual life ahead.
Understandably your erectile dysfunction is predominantly due to the thoughts that your girl has herpes. Now herpes was ones a very difficult illness to treat and involved a lot of suffering. But the current drugs are very good in reducing the recurrences and almost vanish the sufferings attached to herpes. Your recurrent thoughts and bad feelings with respect to your girl friend is what is causing the current problem.
You need to understand that presence of herpes doesn't alter the sexual satisfaction among the partners. They can still participate in any sexual activity with all the vigour that they used to do previously and that will provide them the same satisfaction. The only change being wearing a condom. Now the illness of herpes is no where comparable to the HIV, Hepatitis B which are all toxic illnesses. So practically there is no need to be afraid of this illness.
The problem of erectile dysfunction can be solved with sensate focus therapy. Initially for next 5-7 encounters do not indulge in sex and just try to feel the bodies. You can also use some aromatic oils to provide the pleasure by giving a massage but do not involve in insertion. Then after around 7 such encounters try having sex. When you are not able to perform sex cause of your psychological problem, there is an increase in anxiety for performance. Ones this anxiety is off, your performance is bound to increase.
One other thing I would like to suggest is try getting started with cognitive behavioural therapy. This therapy involves focusing on changing your thoughts and this will in turn benefit your sexually.
Tetra Fol plus is a multi vitamin medication which can also help you in this regard and can be taken for 3 months on daily basis.
Hope I am able to answer your concerns.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.

Wish you good health,
Kind regards
Dr. Srikanth Reddy M.D.

Patient replied :

It might be important to add that I have dealt with minor performance anxiety in the past;however, it was never of too much concern because I was with a trusted partner which did not require use of a condom. In addition, she was on birth control so at the time we thought this would be a preventative measure in terms of pregnancy. Anyways, to get back to the original topic at hand, I have a couple more concerns I would like to address. Firstly, I do realize I have some performance anxiety....but I have also observed that I need constant stimulation in order to maintain an erection. Even during masturbation I notice my erection decreases rather rapidly if I am not actively giving it attention so to speak. Furthermore, when I am with my girl I am completely erect during dry humping, but when the time comes to put on a condom it essentially deflates. This makes me wonder if the pause (the time it takes to put on the condom) is a contributor to my difficulty in maintaining an erection in addition to the relative performance anxiety. Could this be a concern of blood flow? Your advice would again be greatly appreciated. Lastly, you suggested taking Tetra fol plus as a daily multi-vitamin? What are the benefits of this supplement and is it available over the counter or is it prescription only?

Thanks again,



Thanks for the follow up query.

The fact that you are able to maintain an erection for long while dry humping suggests that there is no problem with the blood flow.

The fact that the same deflates while trying to wear condom suggests all the more that it is due to the psychological reasons.

Regarding the availability of tetrafol plus, in India its available over the counter. The rules in your country may differ. Try enquiring about the same with your local pharmacy.

Hope that helped,
Dr. Srikanth Reddy

Dr. Srikanth Reddy
Category: Sexologist
Doctor of Medicine (MD), Psychiatry Residency Program,2001 – 2012
M.B.B.S,Mahatma Gandhi Institute Of Medical Sciences, Sevagram

Certificate Course in sex Therapy and Counselling, Sexology and Counselling, A
Sexology,Medikon Sexual Sciences, Mumbai

Training in Advanced Neurology at a leading corporate hospital (CARE hospital) in Hyderabad

Child Psychiatry Training in National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro-Sciences, Bangalore

Sex Therapy and Counsellingat MEDIKON Sexual Sciences, Mumbai.
Dr. Srikanth Reddy and 4 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you

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